On the List

Not the dumbest thing, but pretty high up there!

Five Minute Nightmare

We went through the worst nightmare. For five minutes, we could not find our little girl.

There are a few gut wrenching memories that will never leave me. This will be one.

As we ran through the park screaming her name and looking for her platinum blonde head riding her bike around the loop, my mind went so many places. None of them good.

A family playing soccer offered help as I ran past, some directing my husband to one location in the park, others joining up behind me. I kept running toward the exit, thinking she would pedal her little legs all that way. I ran past a murky pond, thinking that I wouldn't know, I just couldn't see her bike wheels in the pond. The water seemed calm and undisturbed. I kept running.

I reached a crest in a hill and saw a distance away another pavilion and party going on. Then I saw a woman in a teal shirt, walking with my blonde little girl, holding her hand and carrying her bike. I kicked off my sandals. I never ran so fast in my life.

"I got lost!" Our baby was crying big deep sobs. She thought we'd left her, too. The woman offered her cell phone to call my husband. I took it, looked at the phone, and handed it back. I couldn't focus on what to do but just hold my girl.

My husband came up, followed by my father. Hugs and tears and we made our way back to our cars. I carried my daughter for a bit, reluctantly putting her down when she simply became too heavy to carry. "Mommy, you're squeezing my fingers." It was a struggle to loosen my grasp.

Later, as we were leaving the park, we passed the woman walking down the park road to the entrance and a larger parking lot. We stopped to express our gratitude again. She emotionally relayed a similar story with her own children years ago. It is then when I cried. Two women who had never met, bonded over emotions and words not said, both woken from a nightmare that's hard to forget.

Sometimes, You Just Gotta...

Breakfast of Champions...
Times four, yesterday.

Because, sometimes, you just gotta...

Written Proof

Often I will go through the pages of journals and notebooks that my girls leave lying around. They write some funny stuff. Maybe they take after mom?

I found this a few weeks ago in a notebook. It's now hanging on the fridge. It may be two years old, but now I have written proof. Someday it may even be true!

Almost There ...

I'm sitting waiting for the school bus to come. The littles are asleep. The house is quiet. In two days, school is done for 9 weeks. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm done. We're done.

The last few months have taken a lot out of us in this little yellow house. Since March, we feel like we haven't been able to catch our breath.

(Perhaps that's a feeling we need to get used to, with 5 little "us-es" in the house....Just sayin....)

We've had problems with bullying. Problems with teachers. Problems with friends. Problems with other parents. Problems with the house. Problems with each other. Pick a category. We've filled it.

I've lost a tremendous amount of respect for one of my children's teachers. And for some of the staff within their school as well. I don't feel as though we were treated as parents should be, and I'm not the only one in town feeling this way. I'm ready to have a break from dealing with this, though I know it will be waiting at the end of August. I'll be fresher, and more ready to fight.

I've thought long, hard and often about leaving the PTO part of my name. It's sad that grown ups can act more like children at times than children actually do. I'm staying a part of the organization, if only to not leave a friend without the support she's given to me. That's what friends do. But I've already taken a big step back into the shadows. I like it here. I think I'll stay.

We have no set plans for the summer. No camps, no daily schedule. Just my girls, and boy, a swimming pool, playdates, tutoring, a few classes, and a hopeful trip North. Bring it. Two more days.

RSVP?

We have a lot of birthday parties around here. A lot.

I'm noticing a new trend. Lists are written of friends we want to have come celebrate at our party. Invitations are mailed out. Plans are made. RSVP dates come and pass. And people don't respond.

How incredibly frustrating. And how incredibly rude.
And what terrible manners people are teaching to their children.

My own children have gone to school asking their classmates to remind their parents to respond to an invitation. Just a simple yes or no, no reasons (or excuses) needed. I've sent emails, texts and phone calls to people we see every day sometimes and still get no response. What is wrong with this? Do you see it? Do they not?

I simply want to help my children celebrate turning older. One of our daughters has even waited three months to have a party so she could share her backyard swimming pool with the classmates she spends every day with. It shouldn't be this hard to plan a 6 year old's party.

Couldn't Disagree More

I subscribe to a daily motivational email site. Usually, the thoughts I receive are uplifting, helping to gear me on a positive path for the day.

Today, I couldn't disagree more.

Here was my email for today:


          "The more you trust folks, Amy, the less they let you down."


Pardon me as I break for a loud, guffawing laugh, similar to Tom Hank's laugh from "The Money Pit," when his clawfoot tub has just fallen through the bathroom floor (which is a home improvement phenomenon not unfamiliar to those of us living in this old, little yellow house).

I've been given reason by many, including myself, to trust no one. No one has ever lived up to what they've said to me (again, including me). And I've found myself under the wheels of far too many buses from trusting someone I thought I could, or should, only to have my heart broken yet again.

Though I suppose maybe the good that came from today's email is the sarcastic humor that I find in it? After all, I did start the day with a laugh.