Why We Walked Away

Gossip. Mistrust.

It's no secret that we walked away from a few friendships in recent years. It's not due to who some of those friendships decided to keep or not keep in their lives. People are free to choose who they want in their world, whether or not we agree. People who had no need to speak of our little world knew details only a few people knew. Interesting. I remember sitting on a friend's sofa, having confided in her a great deal of pain, and listening to her tell me things she really probably shouldn't have been telling me. It really didn't dawn on me until a few months later, when I was feeling better, clearer, the weight of that conversation. My husband, in turn, had similar experiences.

It's due to a simple lack of trust. And this quote sums it up perfectly.

Proud Momma

My daughter swam today. Not a usual day for swim practice or a meet. It was a special day, an opportunity seized. Three 2012 swim Olympians came to a clininc here in our little town. Granted, as my husband said, it was to the upscale private preparatory school two miles up the road, but nonetheless.

We tag teammed watching her today, my husband and I. He took her, and later I went to watch. I made it to the school pool during mock races with the medal winners. I was happy to see my daughter's capped, purple goggled head waiting in line for her heat. I hadn't missed her!

Imagine my surprise when I realized she was swimming in the lane right next to Adam Brown, an Olympian from Great Britain. Across the pool they swam. My daughter finished and lifted the goggles from her eyes. I could see her flash one of her dazzling smiles at the man, and that she was talking to him. Then she reached a little arm out to this big man, and completed the swim with a high five.

Tears in my eyes, this was one proud momma.

Dancing in the Kitchen

For Christmas, Santa Husband got me (and the fam) a home docking radio for the Sirius Radio receiver that I have in my truck. Sirius came as part of my last minivan, and I was hooked. We only listen to a handful of channels, but that's just how we roll.

Santa wanted me to be able to bring the radio in with me when we got home from our daily errands, library classes, toddler tumbling and PTO meetings. When I know I'll be home for a good stretch of time, I'll bring it in the house with me. Otherwise, I'll just forget it when we go back out, and have to listen to live radio (ugh). Or the silence -- which is sometimes nice.

The fun thing about the docking station is that it works best in the rear of the house, in the kitchen. Which is good, because I spend a lot of time in there. It ends up being where we dance. Earlier this week I taught my girls how to walk like an Egyptian, and explained just how exactly video killed the radio star. I love being silly and dancing and seeing their smiling faces at me. We dance daily now, even if just for a minute. My favorite dance partner right now is my baby boy. It's just another way I get to memorize his scent, dancing with his warm, droolly cheek pressed up against mine.

Because, as the sign in my daughter's room says, there's always a reason to dance.

Critiqued

Earlier this week, the littlest two of my children and I visited my husband at work. We feel like rock stars when we go, as everyone fawns over the babies and oohs and ahhs and can't seem to get enough. Sometimes we make the rounds to different offices, for this very reason.

Our visit this time was relatively brief. We packed up to leave and headed toward the door. As I walked past one cubicle, the copy editor inside called me over and told me how much she enjoyed my piece, and that I should consider publishing it. Then she said I was a good writer. She should know, right? I mean, she is one.

I was perplexed. My husband had shared my writing.

And it is publishable?

It's been mentioned to me on more than one occasion that perhaps, somewhere down the road, I could write a book. On experiences, what I learned, how to mother (laughable, to me), how to have a big family and seem to do it with ease. Write the next great novel. All nice ideas to think about, but nothing I ever thought about seriously.

Now, someone "in the business" is telling me that I should. I'm looking at what I write differently.

At any given time I have a half dozen drafts of pieces written for this blog. Some I finish, some I don't. The piece she mentioned I wrote in approximately four minutes. No revisions. No changes. And it's good enough to publish? I wrote my best papers in college this way, at 2 AM the night before it was due, pulling the words out from who knows where, putting it all down, and being done.

It's put a different spin on everything I think about now, everything I write. And, maybe, maybe, I will look into it. With everything I've wanted to put after my name, sign to my self as my accomplishments in the world, I've thought about it, but never really thought seriously enough. Now I will.

2013

‎2013.
Stepping back.
Looking in.
Be.

Namaste.