Today could be a birthday.
It is something that will be a part of me for a long, long time. A haunt, a what-if, a why that will always be here. A reminder of good or bad, evil or graciousness, right or wrong. A penance.
My penance.
And I am so, so sorry. For so much.
Tuesday, July 20
Wednesday, July 14
Brave Girls, Brave Mom
Summer vacation is in full swing, and after a nice week of being lazy at home, I've been packing up a picnic lunch everyday and heading out to the lake with my three little blondes for swimming lessons. Not being a beach person, this has been just a little bit harder this year since I am also dealing with the full throes of morning sickness. Pregnant is not something I do well.
My oldest wanted nothing more than to swim out to the diving board dock. From the first second she saw it at the beach. One day the first week of lessons I indulged her, and swam with her out to the dock. It's a far swim for a 7 year old, but she did it. I had to wait in the water for her as she climbed the diving board, and jumped in. She loved it.
I hated it. Mama Bear was watching her cub grow. I watched her jump into the water, and waited for what seemed like an eternity for her little head to pop back up from under the water. And then she did it again.
I realized that while we were out there, I did very little breathing. It was time to head back to shore. But my little one was so proud of herself.
The next day she wanted to go again. But she had to wait for Daddy to go with us. The following week, out they swam. This time it seemed much quicker for her to reach the surface after her jump. Of course, I was watching from the shoreline, and did not swim out to the dock. That is what Daddy was for!
The next day, my middle one wanted to swim to the dock. Donning life jackets, they swam out to the dock together, as we waited on shore. Jumping from the dock, they took several turns before heading back in, proud as can be of their accomplishments.
When they reached the shore, we both breathed.
My oldest wanted nothing more than to swim out to the diving board dock. From the first second she saw it at the beach. One day the first week of lessons I indulged her, and swam with her out to the dock. It's a far swim for a 7 year old, but she did it. I had to wait in the water for her as she climbed the diving board, and jumped in. She loved it.
I hated it. Mama Bear was watching her cub grow. I watched her jump into the water, and waited for what seemed like an eternity for her little head to pop back up from under the water. And then she did it again.
I realized that while we were out there, I did very little breathing. It was time to head back to shore. But my little one was so proud of herself.
The next day she wanted to go again. But she had to wait for Daddy to go with us. The following week, out they swam. This time it seemed much quicker for her to reach the surface after her jump. Of course, I was watching from the shoreline, and did not swim out to the dock. That is what Daddy was for!
The next day, my middle one wanted to swim to the dock. Donning life jackets, they swam out to the dock together, as we waited on shore. Jumping from the dock, they took several turns before heading back in, proud as can be of their accomplishments.
When they reached the shore, we both breathed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)