Friendship

I have been thinking a lot about friendship lately. No surprise, given what's been going on in my little world.

The dictionary defines friendship, among other things as:

"Good will, warm, comforting."

And, true friendship is just that.

Three times in as many weeks my family and I have had occasion to spend time with old friends. Friends from college, a couple down the street, and the family across the street. Each time our evenings together were relaxing, rewarding, effortless. My husband and I spent some time talking yesterday about how enjoyable those times were. How little work was required of us to spend time with them, and how lifted we felt when it came time to part.

It brought to mind some friendships that didn't and don't leave us feeling as fulfilled. Friendship with others should not leave you hurting, in any way. It shouldn't leave you second guessing your choice in life partner, the way you chose to decorate your home, the way you raise your children. It shouldn't leave your children feeling pitted against others in a race of "who comes first," for inevitably there is a child whose feelings become indelibly crushed. You shouldn't have to prepare yourself to spend time with people, and prepare yourself for "fixing" when you have parted.

I've realized that some friendships aren't friendships at all, but perhaps just simple ways to pass some time. Some of the relationships that I've had with people don't fall under that definition above. They've simply left me feeling empty, worthless, hurt. Why did I think to call those friendships?

So I could fully appreciate the many true friendships that I have been given, and that continue to be given and grow. The help, the unconditional love that a true friend shows at all times. The lifting up when you are down, and the pushing along when you can't make yourself go. And those far out number any friendships that I may have lost.