Grasshopper

Lessons, grasshopper ....

What do you have to teach us, that you have been here all day waiting?

I Miss My Friend

It has been five years since I last talked to, hugged and said good-bye to a beautiful friend. It takes my breath away that it's been that long since I've heard her voice on the phone. My mind can still recall her warm, comforting tone. Her unconditional love, constant faith and support. I miss my friend.

The best summer of my life was eight years ago, when we spent the summer at the park with our 6 littles in total, watching children run and play, nursing our babies under the shade of a big tree. Nothing was scary, nothing hurt. I miss my friend.

Often in the last few months I've seen cardinals on my daily travels, out my window at home. Folklore tells us that a red cardinal is the spirit of someone who has passed on visiting you from the other side of the veil. Though there are many whom these birds can represent, I so hope these birds I see are Kristie. I miss my friend.

Broken Arrow

Too much talking leads to
Unbroken silence.
Broken silence?

You can hear as well as you listen.
You can listen as well as you hear.

Silence is louder than words.
All it takes is a little bit of effort.
Only if it's worth it.

Along Came a Spider

Spiders have been plentiful in this little world of mine lately. Yes, it's because it's finally spring and the winter is finally, finally, finally finished (it's 89.5 degrees as I type).

Long ago I looked up the meaning of a spider's being in one's world:

A spider totem teaches you balance --between past and future, physical and spirit, male and female. She is strength and gentleness combined. She awakens creative sensibilities and reminds you that the past is always interwoven with the future. Tarantulas (and all spiders) are the keepers of the primordial alphabet and can teach you how to write creatively. Her body is shaped like the number 8 and she has 8 legs, which is symbol of infinite possibilities of creation. Her 8 legs represent the 4 winds of change and the four directions of the medicine wheel. Spider's message is that you are an infinite being who will continue to weave patterns of life and living throughout time. Do not fail to see the eternal plan of creation. Those who weave magic with the written word usually have this totem.

The last line is not lost on me, and is always the one I recall when one crawls near.

It's not for lack of writing that I haven't. It's not for lack of stories. It's not for lack of words. It's simply a problem of supply and demand. Limited supply of time or energy, and high demand for it.

Perhaps I need to take more cue from these little creatures walking into my world more and more these last few weeks as the snow finally stops flittering. Each one tells me to keep a notebook near to jot down a thought or line as it enters in, instead of thinking to myself, "I must remember that!" and then promptly forgetting. Whispering, "talk to text a new note!" Don't simply let them come and do nothing with them.

Perhaps...

Fly Like An Eagle

A few weeks ago I spied a bald eagle flying along the river's edge, very near town. Too close to town, I thought, to actually be an eagle. But it was. Soaring right over the front of my truck, finishing his daily errands and tending to family as I was finishing and tending to mine in the back seat.

As always when a creature enters my world on any given day, I looked up its meaning:

The appearance of an Eagle signifies a new beginning is coming soon. Whether it is a positive beginning or not depends on the energy you are putting out. The law of attraction states that what you give out, you receive. If you want good to come to you, put out good and positive thoughts. Eagle will help by bringing the opportunities to you. This new beginning could be a spiritual awakening. Eagle is a demanding totem, but one that offers so much reward at the end of the journey. Its four-toed feet remind you to stay grounded even when soaring high; its talons remind you to grasp the things of the earth; its sharp beak shows you when to speak, how much, and how strongly. This totem will show you opportunities and how to ride the winds to your benefit. Eagle people can live in the realm of the spirit yet still remain connected and balanced within the realm of the Earth. You must become much more than you ever dreamed possible.

We are poised on an edge of newness, if we let it be. So much chance wrapped into words, if it's what we are meant for.

I think of the eagle daily, trying not to lose his picture in my mind. I'm trying to draw from him to calm my ever-working thoughts, and just go in his direction, wherever it might be.

It Never Gets Old

My happy place. Not sure why, just is.

 

Our last visit was just last week. My husband asked me, "It never gets old, does it?"

And someday we will fulfill the promise we make to our children to take them to the buildings in the background, all the way in Canada. Twenty years ago you could walk across the Rainbow Bridge with 25 cents and a license. Renewed passport needed now.

Because on the other side, the view still never gets old.

Five

Five years ago, you came to me.
I wasn't ready for you, I sent you away.
I didn't know what it would mean.
What would be left.

The pain is mine alone, I know.
It's in my own eyes only.
I see it daily, I can't look too deeply
In anyone's eyes. Not even
My own.

I can't let them see what's there.
I can't bear to see myself.
The scar that's left.
I feel it every day.