30 Days of Thanksgiving: November 2

Today, I am thankful for my husband, and all the little ways he shows me he loves me, like the quick and clandestine snuggle in the scant seconds between the alarm going off and the children waking up (or the snooze button being hit and the blissful abyss of that not-being-so-awake time of day). And all the little ways he works so hard to help my days be a little easier, like getting in on the fray in the morning to help pack lunches or doing an errand on the way home from work (usually involving PTO), and always making sure we are fully stocked with wine, even if I've sabotaged a bottle or two in the freezer. And all the little ways he makes me smile, like the silly emails, forwarded anecdotes, and chats we have during the day. And, above all, all the big ways he provides for our family, with all the efforts and exhaustion that comes with it.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: November 1

There is a movement afoot to share what we are thankful for this month, made especially more poignant after this week's storm. So, since I have no shortage of things to be thankful for ...

Today, right now, I am thankful for my son. He blesses me more with each smile. He gifts me so many things. This evening I enjoyed the sweet smell of his breath, as his head laid on my shoulder, asleep after he ate. I inhaled to memory.

Toe the Line

Last week, I cooked dinner.

What's so different about that? I cook dinner everyday. Well, this dinner wasn't for me or my family. It was for someone else's family. Someone who had recently had a baby. Someone in one of the mother's clubs in town to which I belong. Someone who has been very vocal, and very untrue, in many venues.

My husband could not believe that I was cooking dinner for this family. He said I am a bigger person than he is for doing so.

I had a front row seat to the lack of support from the mother's club that this woman was receiving. I could easily have looked the other way. But what satisfaction would that bring? No matter who the person is, every new mom needs help. So instead of turning away, I did what I could do to help, and lead by example.

At the same time, my husband and I learned of college friends who are traveling through a difficult personal time in their lives. Having been through a similar hell, the judgement we felt, and still feel, leaves us with a pain in our stomachs and an ache in our hearts. People make mistakes and bad decisions, but that doesn't change who they are within. Since then, I've adopted the phrase "There is no judgement in friendship."

It's time for me to toe the line.

No Tears

Yesterday I took a walk in a park with a friend who is going through a very hard time in her life. Everything seems to be falling apart for her, and she has some very tough choices to make.

I told her a story.

The story of me. Of my husband. Of us. Of how we went wrong, and how we got it back.

And for the first time, I did not cry.

What does that mean? I had heard once upon a time that it you can talk about something that hurt you, wrecked you, built you, changed you, that you had healed.

Is that really true?

Just Keep Running

I wouldn't say that I've been bitten by the bug. But there is some sort of perverse satisfaction at pushing myself and finding out I can do it.

Sunday I did another 5K run, and actually finished way ahead of where I thought I'd be (by over eight minutes!). My schedule the last few weeks isn't allowing for much free time to train and run, nor do I really want to drag my little ones outside in such chilly morning air.

I don't even really enjoy the physical act of running. And my knees are telling me that they are living up to their genetic destiny, and I need not one but two braces as I run. But there is some little switch that's been turned on, so I'll just keep running.

Regulate Me!

It was a lively PTO meeting at school this morning. The most heated discussion had nothing to do with anything the PTO actually provides for a child.

It had to do with allergies.

I'm sorry if someone has a child with allergies. I've seen my friends' children have reactions to nuts, dairy, bees, etc., and have seen the terror and panic on the faces of adults as they run for Epi pens, trying to mask their fear.  It's unfortunate that allergies to this degree have risen so far since we were children. I don't wish them on anyone (well, except for a select few ...).

There is a new committee within our school walls to designate it allergy safe or even allergy free. And I couldn't disagree more.

It is not my job as a parent to limit my own children and their food intake during the school day because of another child. It is the job of that parent to educate their own child on what to do and not do, eat and not eat.

This came to pass today because of a conversation about Box-Tops contests. I have moved on from that role, taking on a role that, while still involves me in the school, removes me somewhat as I am learning that my interests and desires are moving me elsewhere to follow new paths.

Each contest used to win three classrooms a pizza party. The kids loved it, the teachers loved it, it was easy and it was cheap.

But we can't do that anymore. Johnny is allergic to dairy. It's not fair to him. Sally cannot eat gluten, it's unfair to her. Bob is allergic to vegetables. You get the picture.

In all likelihood, Johnny, Sally and Bob didn't even contribute to their class winning the prize. My calculations from the last three years show that only 15% of the children actually participated, and usually one child in the classroom won the prize for themselves and their friends. (And students were given enough notice that an allergy-free treat could be secured so Johnny, Sally and Bob didn't miss out on the classroom fun.)

But let's regulate that child. Let's limit them because Sally hasn't been taught not to touch Mary's food.

This is sounding vaguely familiar. Kind of like a new law in New York City telling me that I cannot buy a large bottle of soda with my chili dog because Mayor Bloomberg thinks I'm going to get fat.

Thank you to the few for impacting so much of the lives of many.

Baby, Slow Down

Baby, slow down,
You're growing too fast.
Your smile makes me melt.
And your laugh? Oh, my ...

Just a short while ago, you
Were lost, swimming in
Your car seat. Today,
There is little room to spare.

The first thing I've really noticed
To make me see how big you are now.
So many more coming
Right up behind.

I shed tears, stroking your head as
You snuggle in to nurse
Baby, please, slow down
You're growing too fast.