Life in a Small Town

Living in a small New England town, there's a lot of faces you see every day. Eleven years and many children have brought us a big circle of faces and names that we know. Some, I have gotten very good at avoiding. But sometimes, avoidance isn't an option.

At a school open house I got out of my truck and walked literally face to face with one of those I usually avoid. My stomach sank and I felt like I wanted to get sick. How I long for the feeling of palm to skin and the satisfying sting that follows. So many words to say, and nothing to say. Sometimes the only closure we can get is silence.

I'm mad at myself now for walking around a bank of cars parked along the sidewalk and not falling into step behind. For not allowing my daughter to greet the first person she saw. Soon, I will no longer have control over who she picks as friends. She has lessons to learn, just like her father and I.

I need to stop allowing myself to take all the blame, as there is another set of eyes that played a role, that should look down to the ground.

My daughter and I were greeted in the parking lot by friends and hugs. We were hugged again on the sidewalk up to the main entrance. And again at the door to the school. All along the hallways and into the school classroom, my daughter and I embraced friend after friend in greeting and well wishes, some we haven't seen since the end of June. Blessed, beautiful, wonderful people, some who know where we've been and have left judgement at the door.

My daughter grinned her trademark beautiful smile all through the school. A smile I hear about from so many in our town as one of the highlights of their days. We were in the building for the entire hour of the open house. Victory was ours. And even more hugs were received as we left the school for home.

There are days that I am happy that we have not yet left our small town for the safety and distance of a different locale. Yesterday was one of those days.